Where's my vest, n'at...

Don't worry...the other 364 days of the year...they do a pretty good job.

Here fishy fishy fishy....

More news on the kid who spent a week upside-down in a creek after driving off the road.

According to the Washington Post...he kept alive by using his size 13 high top shoe to scoop up water from the creek (which was now running through his car) to drink. When he got hungry...he'd reach down and pull up a little creek fishy and eat him.

This kid is the real life Survivorman. I think I might be more likely to punt on life...rather than hang upside-down in my wrecked car in a creek...all the while catching fish and drinking creek water with my size 13 high-top.

No details yet as to how ones car ends upside-down in creek for a week and nobody sees you.

Stay tuned...

Britney Punts...

Well...if there was any question as to whether or not Britney Spears had any sort of future left...she pretty much answered it with the ABYSMAL performance at the MTV VMA's.

First off...where does MTV get off hosting an award show for music video's these days? Long gone are the days of "Remote Control" and the strange, yet awkwardly attractive Kennedy. I feel a little part of my soul die inside me every time I see a bunch of self important 17 year old girls in oversized sunglasses complain about not hooking up with the local cutie in their H3 at the beach.

Please....I'd rather poke my eyes out with icicles.

What was I talking about again? Right. Britney punts away her career. You can check out a video of her performance here. She looks like she's in a bad high school musical....you know the kind....where the kid knows she has go to stand in some general location on the stage...but doesn't really know what to do once she gets there. It truly is laughable. I could put on a better show than this...and those of you that know me...know that I've got zippy skills when it comes to dancing.

How has this happened dearest Britney? Oh right...you marry Skeevy McNubbins and thereby flush your life down the toilet.

Man spends week in upside-down car in creek...

Don't know if this has hit the national news circuit yet, but it's making a bit of ruckus here in DC.. Here's the story.....

A local college kid gets in the car one weekend to go visit his girlfriend at University of MD.. Along the way...somehow...he crashes his car. It goes off the road...and falls...upside down...into a creek (or crick) below the road.

THEN....he chills....upside down....in his upside down car....for a week. Slowly but surely...he frees himself of the seatbelt, and crawls up the creek bed...and lies on the side of the road until someone notices him.

There are a few things that are amazing about this. One of course is that this kid was able to survive for a week in his beat up car upside down. The other is that nobody saw the accident, or the wrecked car. In fact...the family actually drove across the small section of road that crosses the creek a number of times during their search that week...not having any idea that their son was in his upside down car just below them.

I've actually been on this section of road before (I was craaazy lost at the time...but that's besides the point). It's near the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, which is a major state road that connects...well, you can guess. Furthermore, it's not all that far from the DC beltway. My point...it's not like he wrecked in Nubbinsville. It's amazing that nobody saw the accident...or had noticed anything strange indicating that a freakin' car had gone off the road and was upside down, just feet below them.

Hats off to the kid for roughing it out. The family isn't pressing him for details until he's recovered, but I imagine it should be a pretty interesting story. Stay tuned....

The Edsel

Here in DC, the Washington Post ran an interesting article about the Ford Edsel (I say this as if the Washington Post is like the Valley News Dispatch and no one other than Washingtonians read it). Anyway...the Edsel. It was a debacle. The epitome of failed media hype.

Ford exec's spent countless hours and dollars into the new area of "motivational research". Tons of effort went into trying to find a name that was agreeable to the American public. In a stroke of brilliance...in attempts to score some points with president Henry Ford II...one day, suggested they name it after Ford II's father, and Henry Ford I son....Edsel Ford.

Who names there kid Edsel?

Anyway...then a bunch of engineers when crazy and decided to make an ugly ass car...complete with a push button transmission in the middle of the steering wheel.

The publicity leading up to the Edsel's release rivals any current day marketing blitz. Unfortunately...once people actually saw it...not so much. Here's an excerpt....

"We couldn't even get people to drive it," says Warnock. "They just didn't like the car. They just didn't like the front end."

That weird oval grille soon became a running gag. Wags joked that it looked like a horse collar or a toilet seat. Time magazine said it made the car look like "an Olds sucking a lemon."

But styling was hardly the worst problem. Oil pans fell off, trunks stuck, paint peeled, doors failed to close and the much-hyped "Teletouch" push-button transmission had a distressing tendency to freeze up. People joked that Edsel stood for "Every day something else leaks."

But the Edsel folks did not give up. No way. After months of sluggish sales, the crack PR team gathered to brainstorm ideas for selling Edsels. They were battered and weary and devoid of ideas until an adman named Walter "Tommy" Thomas blurted out a suggestion.

"Let's give away a [bleeping] pony," he said.

Much to Thomas's amazement, his idea was not only accepted, it was expanded. The geniuses at Edsel decided to advertise a promotion in which every Edsel dealer would give away a pony. It worked like this: If you agreed to test-drive an Edsel, your name would be entered into a lottery at the dealership, with the winner getting a pony.

Ford bought 1,000 ponies and shipped them to Edsel dealers, who displayed them outside their showrooms. Many parents, egged on by their pony-loving children, traipsed in to take a test drive. Unfortunately, many of the lucky winners declined the ponies, opting instead for the alternative -- $200 in cash -- and soon dealers were shipping the beasts back to Detroit.

Now the Edsel folks were not only stuck with a lot of cars they couldn't sell, they were also stuck with a lot of ponies they couldn't give away. The cars were easy enough to store, but the ponies required food. And after they ate the food, they digested the food. And then . . . another fine mess for Edsel.

I may be a millionaire...

This is not another post about crazy Leona Helmsley. Rather, I believe that my dog, Rags (shown left), may be blood relatives with Trouble, her newly very rich dog. The similarity is striking, I think (to the dog...not Helmsley). I'm encouraging Rags to contact Trouble ASAP, as time is of the essence. Brando has bills to pay...