Mooooooooooo.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
SkyMall Catalog Fun
Ah yes....e-Breezewood was on the road and in the air this past week...which can only mean one thing....SkyMall catalog browsing fun! Let's get started.
Item #71405 - The Marshmallow Shooter
First of all...why do we spell marshmallow with an "a" instead of an "e"? That's silly. Here at e-Breezewood...it shall be called a "marshmellow". Second of all...why don't I own one of these? How many times has a particular moment in your life been incomplete because you couldn't shoot a marshmellow at someone? Now you can....and it's only $24.95! It even has an LED for pinpoint marshmellow shooting accuracy. The barrel holds up to 20 fluffy treats at a time...perfect for pummelling unsuspecting friends or terrorists.
Item #713561 - Gravity Defying Boots
Because gravity is for sissies! Perfect for the office, walks on the beach, or going to the prom.
Item # TH462J - Deluxe Yoga Stand
This is not a joke. Allegedly, people think it's cool to hang around upside down. This is a bunch of B.S.. Zippy chance my chi's and shakra's enjoy having all the blood in my body race to my head. Unless it comes with the cute upside-down yoga girl...color me disinterested.
Item #HLGDON100J - Dough-Nu-Matic
Stop. If you're reading this...please reach into your wallet and buy me one of these right now. According the catalog..."The Dough-Nu-Matic automatically forms, fries, and drains delectable mini-doughnuts in just 50 seconds." Delectable doughnuts in 50 seconds! Hazaa! If you have enough change left over...buy me two so I can keep one in the car.
Item #71405 - The Marshmallow Shooter
First of all...why do we spell marshmallow with an "a" instead of an "e"? That's silly. Here at e-Breezewood...it shall be called a "marshmellow". Second of all...why don't I own one of these? How many times has a particular moment in your life been incomplete because you couldn't shoot a marshmellow at someone? Now you can....and it's only $24.95! It even has an LED for pinpoint marshmellow shooting accuracy. The barrel holds up to 20 fluffy treats at a time...perfect for pummelling unsuspecting friends or terrorists.
Item #713561 - Gravity Defying Boots
Because gravity is for sissies! Perfect for the office, walks on the beach, or going to the prom.
Item # TH462J - Deluxe Yoga Stand
This is not a joke. Allegedly, people think it's cool to hang around upside down. This is a bunch of B.S.. Zippy chance my chi's and shakra's enjoy having all the blood in my body race to my head. Unless it comes with the cute upside-down yoga girl...color me disinterested.
Item #HLGDON100J - Dough-Nu-Matic
Stop. If you're reading this...please reach into your wallet and buy me one of these right now. According the catalog..."The Dough-Nu-Matic automatically forms, fries, and drains delectable mini-doughnuts in just 50 seconds." Delectable doughnuts in 50 seconds! Hazaa! If you have enough change left over...buy me two so I can keep one in the car.
Friday, October 5, 2007
ttyl
Hazaa! The Pittsburgh Post Gazette reports today that a bunch of donkeys have been fired...including yet another manager, Jim Tracy.
Also included in the big purge were some other guys who nobody's ever heard of.
In other news...the rumors that the Pirate Parrot was to be replaced by Jalapeño Hanna were found to be completely untrue.....
Also included in the big purge were some other guys who nobody's ever heard of.
In other news...the rumors that the Pirate Parrot was to be replaced by Jalapeño Hanna were found to be completely untrue.....
Monday, October 1, 2007
e-Breezewood...on the road...
e-Citizens...
Sorry for the lack of updates, but your mayor has been in the air and on the road doing a bit of traveling.
This of course means that upon my return there will be plenty of "Brando browses the SkyMall Catalog" posts so that you may brush up on your useless gadgetry.
In the meantime...Stay classy, e-Breezewood.
Sorry for the lack of updates, but your mayor has been in the air and on the road doing a bit of traveling.
This of course means that upon my return there will be plenty of "Brando browses the SkyMall Catalog" posts so that you may brush up on your useless gadgetry.
In the meantime...Stay classy, e-Breezewood.
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