Genius

If you haven't seen these yet...you need to....now. At a prison in the Phillipines, this is considered phys ed.. Brilliant.

I may be a millionaire...

This is not another post about crazy Leona Helmsley. Rather, I believe that my dog, Rags (shown left), may be blood relatives with Trouble, her newly very rich dog. The similarity is striking, I think (to the dog...not Helmsley). I'm encouraging Rags to contact Trouble ASAP, as time is of the essence. Brando has bills to pay...

Hazaa!

More SoMD news. There's a Jousting Tournament in Calvert County, MD. Yes. Jousting. What's even more appalling is that it's the 141st annual tournament the county has held.

That means sometime shortly after the Civil War ended, southern Maryland residents (which by my calculations, based on current population of southern Maryland, would have been about 8 people), got bored and decided it would be fun to poke each other with big pointy sticks.

141 years later...these crazies are still at it. For fun, check out the Maryland Jousting Tournament Association. Here, you'll find a list of former MD state champions such as Mary Lou Bartram, featured here on the right. According to her page, Mary Lou was single (shocker). Mary Lou also, "enjoyed a successful and constructive career in the field of corrections. She was the first woman in the United States named as a warden of an all male, maximum security prison."

Yikes! Ha!

Doomed...

And now, some news from my "new" hometown area of southern MD. Let's all say hello to Johnna Parlett. Johnna, age 6, recently qualified for the 2008 Kids Golf World Championship.

Despite the fact that this kids childhood will likely be ruined, as is the case with all child stars, you have to admit, she does have a pretty sweet swing.

Ok...who am I kidding. I'm jealous...

A Cinderella Story...From Outta Nowhere...

If there is any doubt that Bill Murray is quite possibly the greatest individual ever, then read this story.

Here's the short story...

- Murray goes to Sweeden for a golf tourney.
- Instead of taking a cab to dinner...he hijacks a golf cart which was on display at the hotel, and drives it a mile or so to dinner
- After dinner, he goes to a club and gets Hammer(ed) Time.
- Hops back in his golf cart, and gets pulled over trying to drive back to the hotel.
- This was after stopping of course at a 7-11, most likely to get some post drinky drinky munchies.

If you ask me...it's only a matter of time before we can take any sentence with the words "Gary Busey" and replace them with "Bill Murray".

Volare....

An now a quick little nugget from Vandergrift, a town very near and dear to my heart, despite how trifling it is.

Vandergrift held their Italian Festival recently. I always considered the ethnicity of most Vandergriftians as "hurting", but I suppose Italian will do.

Anyway...Ricci Martin, son of famous Dean Martin, was the "featured" entertainer. If I'm the SON of DEAN MARTIN...there's ZIPPY chance you ever get me to book a gig in VANDERGRIFT. I refuse to believe that this guy is having a hard time finding work that he has to book the Vandergrift Sons if Italy club.

Somewhere...Dino is rolling over in his grave (and sipping on a gin and tonic)

Bob Nutting's giant dome...

Seriously. The folks at PG have gone crazy. I understand you've got the new website and all, but this picture of Bob Nutting's gigantic cranium is too much for us to handle. Please tone it down.

Anyway...if anybody still thought that Bob Nutting knows what he's doing...today we read this...

"What I've really tried to do," Nutting said, "is focus on the process itself to make sure that I had a chance to understand alternative structures -- what's been effective for other teams and what kinds of options are there as well as getting a good assessment of who candidates are, who's inside baseball, what other skill-sets might be most helpful and most important."

Um....Ya. Like someone who has any clue on how to run a baseball team. Thanks for you insight though, Bob. Any more nuggets?

"It is a critically important hire," Nutting said as the Pirates careen toward a 15th consecutive losing season. "It's one I really believe we need to get right. Not only do we have to have somebody who understands the situation in Pittsburgh -- understand what the team needs -- but I also have to have confidence that they have sufficient vision and capability to be able to step in and really have an impact where we need to see improvement and change.

Thank you Great Swammi. "Someone who really understands the situation in Pittsburgh". Oh no! However are we going to explain the situation to someone? Oh right....we suck.

"I think what I've learned and decided is, we want to have a single person who will be an overall team president with full responsibility for the club. My sense is that [with] our business-side operations we have a very solid group of executives running those operations right now. I have an awful lot of faith in them. They've done a fantastic job this year.

Translation: We need someone to shift the blame to when we don't know what we're doing.

This guy is a total tool.

15 years and counting...

Smizik goes soft...

After months of absolutely pummeling the Bucco's and their management...Bob Smizik shows that he has a soft spot...not for bad baseball playing...but for guys who pummel Spot and Fluffy.

Sure...he admits that what Vick did was a terrible thing. But Bob all but invites Vick over for wine and cheese after his jail time.

Sorry Bob...go back to demoralizing the Buccos. It's much more fun.

Dagger!

Dagger!

Fewer Yinzers are making out today, as Kennywood has closed The Gold Rusher. First the Old Mill...now this. Soon, the only place teens will be able to make out is Noah's Ark...and I'd bet that's on the chopping block next. Just tell me they haven't gotten rid of the Log Jammer...

Noooooooo!

Say it ain't so....

I mean....I REALLY thought this was going to work.

What a shame.

Oh....Kristin...call me.

Steelers Hotel Rider Audio

While the pesky (and by pesky, I mean super hottt) PittGirl beat me to the Steelers Hotel rider story punch, I had originally heard about this on the Don and Mike Show on the radio here in D.C.. It would seem that a hotel worker had forwarded the rider to just about everybody in the world, including Don and Mike.

The audio can be found here.

Enjoy. Along with your 150 packets of only Heinz ketchup.

A new home!

Greetings weary travelers, and welcome to e-Breezewood's new home.

e-breezewood.blogspot.com

Believe it or not....regular "breezewood" without the "e-" was taken. They've only made two posts...3 years ago. Dagger! And what's worse....they're from Cleveland! Figures!

Anyway our old friends over at blog.com .... well, their server crashes more times than a place like e-Breezewood should have to tolerate.

So here we are...check back here often as we get settled into our new home.